guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
