Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
