You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Duck Duck Cougar?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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