We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
