It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
