Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
