Sorry, I don't speak sober.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
