You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
