no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
