Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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