no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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