obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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