I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
