I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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