i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
