Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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