When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
