if you like me you must not know who I am
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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