Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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