is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
