she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I believe in your delicious
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize