hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were trust falling into bushes
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
