You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
