eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
