I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
