We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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