Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
