i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
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