he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
