Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
