she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
