ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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