Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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