And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
