Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
