i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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