My first STD was from a foam party
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
