And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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