they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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