You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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