I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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