The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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