just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
