You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
