Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
