We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
