D3 body, D1 cock
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your cock deserves a montage
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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