He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
