we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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