i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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