Heybabeimwearingurpanties
thus making me awesome and them whores
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
